A Part You Can Never Have
by LSgrimm91
Summary: "I'll give you my confidence, my loyalty, my trust. I will give you my body and mind, and whatever is left of my soul... But," Jack heard Sam's sharp intake of breath as she prepared for the worst. S/J Angsty fluff. Minific!


**Summary****: "I'll give you my confidence, my loyalty, my trust. I will give you my body and mind, and whatever is left of my soul... But," Jack heard Sam's sharp intake of breath as she prepared for the worst. Shamelessly angsty and shippy. Minific! Unbetaed.  
><strong>**A/note****: Fluff bunny hopped out from under my bed. This is the result. Tag for 'Sacrifices'. Established relationship from season nine onwards. I always figured they would discuss Charlie and Sara. I should be writing the second chapter of 'Syracuse' (new story), and first chapter of 'Meet You On The Other Side'(also new story)... But... the bunny wouldn't leave me alone. Enjoy!**

**~ A Part You Can Never Have ~**

"This is still a bit strange," Sam mumbled sleepily, her hands clenching and loosening between their chests as they lay on his bed. Jack lightly scratched her jacketed back and cleared his throat.

"What is?" His voice was gravelly from hours of lying in silence.

"Being here. With you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. But it's fine. I've got you now; all of you." Jack could hear the happy smile in her tone. But her words had stirred something within him that he'd been reluctant to address. She had to understand something. Before they went any further with their fledgling of a relationship.

"No," He groaned. The woman in his arms moved, pressing a hand to his chest to roll him onto his back. He complied and opened his eyes. It was dark, but he could make out her shadowy features leaning over him, courtesy of the waning crescent outside.

"No?" She repeated his - rather blunt - statement. Jack knew how it sounded, but would explain soon enough.

"Not _completely_," he shook his head slightly, his fingers playing with her hair. She continued to frown and he could feel tension rolling off her in small waves.

"Carter," Jack considered the habitual use of her surname, "there is something you need to understand."

Sam shrugged her shoulders slowly, a little stretch to make herself comfortable as she waited for whatever bomb he was about to drop on her.

"Okay." Jack heard the fear beneath her confident reply. Jack thought about how he would explain this, which was unusual for him. He often spoke without thinking. This fact was not lost on Sam, who had developed a curious interest in his face.

"I'll give you my confidence, my loyalty, my trust. I will give you my body and mind, and whatever is left of my soul... But," Jack heard Sam's sharp intake of breath as she prepared for the worst. "...But, I can't give you all of my heart. There's a part you can never have."

Sam let out a sigh of relief, shortly confusing him. Had she known this already?

"Charlie?" she guessed correctly. For the most part.

"And... sort of... Sara, I guess," Jack added as he tried to work out why in his head.

When he looked up at her, Jack found her eyes had grown curious again. He knew Sam would never ask why, though it was clear she wanted to. She deserved to know. Even though the conversation would be uncomfortable for both, Jack still felt it necessary to tell her the truth.

"I was _in love_ with her; it took a long time to let that feeling go. I married her. We had a kid together. I mean, there's this small part of me that will always love her. I can't change that."

"I know," Sam nodded. To say he was glad she understood would certainly be an understatement. "And Charlie, I knew that part of you wasn't for me. I accepted that a long time ago."

"Good. But you get the rest of me." Jack grinned softly as the tempting warmth of sleep re-emerged. Sam let her head fall onto his chest and her she toyed with the collar of his shirt.

"You can have all of me," again, he could hear her smiling.

"Still feel's strange to be here?" He asked before he succumbed to exhaustion.

"Yes. But it feels good too." She confessed. Sam was not one to talk about her feelings. She preferred silence and physical expression to saying 'I feel...'

Jack let himself fall asleep, still feeling Sam's fingers dancing on the pulse on his neck. It felt right.

**~ SJ ~**

**So damn random. Reviews very welcome and thank you to those who leave one. To all my readers, Thank You. You guys are wonderful :)**


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